I attended the preaching today to grieve the loss that we suffered many years ago. To fill up my thoughts with pain and suffering of the ultimate sacrifice.

Despite being very soft hearted I have always found it difficult to shed tears and feel the grief when the recitation gets gruesome, maybe I lack imagination to visualise human emotions effectively when the historical events are stated in a repetitive fashion which is direct too.

Chest beating / self flagellation during these days alongwith marsiyas gets me in a trance. Its to do with the rhythm and the words, it spins a melody in my head that is full of love. Love is best expressed when it suffers tragedy.

It gets me intimately attentive and captured only when the narrative is poetic or deeply philosophical, that loves or wounds deeper which also shows.

Imaam Hussain’s sacrifices and the sufferings of the Ahlebait I do find them really colossal,  reliving this every year surely is the only way to carry him along with us into our future and let his humbleness influence us. Definitely support remembering the great sacrifices and performing respectable mourning.

Its does confuse me everytime on my participation, not sure what does that.  Going with the flow and shutting down that rational critic. Overwhelmed with emotions listening to this.

These 10 days definitely does make me a better person.