I have to host my friends with their families.
I have to organise games.
I am cooking a full course menu.
I am a good cook.
I generally have innovative party games, that I make myself.
I am a very warm and loving person.
I have a good home with a supportive family.
My friends are supportive and matured.
No one has any health issues. Touch wood.
But why am I anxious?
Itโs basically to do with the fact that I have lost the sensibilities of younger me..I have changed, and things that excited me before, now donโt anymore..
So itโs like discovering friendships all over again
the form of entertainment that I would like to offer is unclear to me.
There are certain things that have happened that donโt seem to have met my expectations, but I have been understanding of those, still there is a deepening of void.
I have unknowingly yearned for true friendship, honesty, unconditional support, understanding and love from everyone who I regard as a good friend..too much I guess, but I have always offered this largely.
it seems to me not everyone comes to you without hidden agendas. I never was concerned about all this, why have I now?
Maybe the kind of content I am consuming makes me rethink my understanding of how people generally are, how the world is, how important it is to have diplomacyโฆI am not sure, probably honesty is not the norm..
Am I thinking too much ?
Are these the signs of Hesidating?
Guess I should just cook, have faith in my friends and enjoy the party!
Allah knows best.